A Prayer for Your Love Life (Philippians 1:9-11)

St. Paul wrote more of the New Testament than any other writer – he is the author of something like one quarter of the New Testament. If we are going to understand his letters, it is important to realize that he wrote them with some basic assumptions in place. He doesn’t argue for these things. He takes them for granted and assumes his readers do the same. For example, Paul assumes that the Creator of heaven and earth is actively involved in what is happening in our world. He is not on vacation. He is paying attention.

He assumes that all people on earth and all the institutions of which they are a part are known by God, accessible to God, and responsible before God. That includes you and me and Cal Road Church. This is not something Paul argues; he takes it for granted.

He further assumes that this God is pursuing a specific goal and is employing individuals and institutions to achieve it, whether they realize it or not, whether they cooperate or not. That goal is stated this way in the letter to the Ephesians: “to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ” (Ephesians 1:10).

We read over that and miss how revolutionary (in the fullest sense of the word) it is. The goal is to bring all things – nations, for example, and their governments – under the headship of one leader. The U.S., Russia, China, England, France – and the other 191 so-called sovereign states – will be governed by one head, Jesus. That’s the plan. Talk about a one-world government – this is it – and it is God’s intention to make it happen.

But it is not just nations. It is people, animals, weather systems, physical processes, spiritual forces – authorities, powers, and dominions – everything. Paul sees God making all things work together toward this goal and Paul has committed himself – even to the point of sacrificing his life – to the cause. He further assumes that the Philippian church exists for the same purpose; otherwise, they would not be a church.

If we read Paul without realizing this, we will unwittingly substitute an alternative purpose for this one. Have you ever heard the story of the English duchess who was planning a trip to the U.S. in the first decades of the 20^th century? She corresponded with an agent to secure a summer residence for her in upstate New York and was ready to sign the agreement when it occurred to her that these backwards Americans might not have indoor plumbing. So, she asked the agent if the estate had a W.C. (a water closet; an indoor toilet).

He was puzzled when he received the letter. What did she mean by a W.C.? Finally, he figured it out. It must be a Wayside Chapel! So, he wrote back: “Yes, the estate has a beautiful W.C. just two miles from the house. It has a panoramic view, and all the worthiest citizens in the county come there. It seats nearly a hundred people and is always packed, but a place for you will be reserved right up front!”

For some reason, she had a change of mind and decided to spend her summer in the south of France.

Now, imagine a Bible reader doesn’t understand Paul’s goal of the universal lordship of Jesus and unwittingly substitutes the goal of happiness in its place. He can carefully exegete the passage, do word studies, and have really good insights. He can use the latest academic jargon to explain its theology, but he’ll still miss the point.

This explains why some people try the Christian life for a while and then give up: they thought it was about one thing when it was really about something else. Years ago, we had a remote control for our TV, another for the VCR, and one more for the DVD player, and we kept them all in the same drawer. Sometimes, I would grab one, push the power button and, when nothing would happen (nothing I noticed, anyway), I’d think: “This thing isn’t working!” But of course, it was working. I was just trying to make it do something it wasn’t designed to do.

If we think the purpose of prayer is to avoid every difficulty and live a comfortable and prosperous life, we’re bound to conclude that prayer doesn’t work. However, if, like Paul, we are committed to and engaged in preparing for Jesus to take his place as ruler of the entire world, we’ll see that prayer works exactly as intended.

With all that in mind, let’s look at how Paul prayed for his friends in the city of Philippi (Philippians 1:9-11): “And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.”

When Paul writes of “what is excellent” in verse 10 (we’ll think through that in a moment), we must remember that it is with the universal headship of Jesus in view. What is excellent (or “best,” as the NIV rightly translates it) is not what facilitates our ease, comfort, or prestige, but what works to establish the rule of the Messiah Jesus over all the earth. Perhaps you haven’t realized it before: the people of Jesus are insurgents. We are revolutionaries, preparing for the overthrow of the status quo and the return to power of earth’s rightful ruler. We are the Resistance. We are the Insurgency.

With that being said, it is surprising that Paul, the passionate revolutionary who spent years in prisons all around the Mediterranean for the sake of the cause, prays for the Philippian revolutionaries’ love life. What has love got to do with the subjection of every nation and people and power on earth under one head, even Christ? What’s love got to do with it?

Everything. The revolution to which Paul was committed is a revolution of Love. The Lord to whom Paul submitted is the Lord of Love. His rule is the rule of love: The law of his kingdom is: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind”; and “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27).

Life as Jesus’s person begins with, and ends in, love. If your faith does not equip you to love – God and people – something is wrong with your faith.

Paul told the Roman Christians to “Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.” (Romans 13:8). He wrote, “Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.” (Romans 13:10). In Galatians, he went so far as to say, “For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Galatians 5:14). James, the first leader of the church at Jerusalem, wrote, “If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well.” (James 2:8).

Jesus told his disciples that love was the ID card of the Insurgency. “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35).The reign of Jesus will not be one of domination but of love. The revolution is powered by love – love is the Church’s secret weapon. No wonder Paul prayed for the Philippians’ love. The church can’t do right when love is missing. The church can’t be right when love is wrong.

Paul’s prayer for his friends is that their love will abound. That word is sometimes translated “overflow,” like a river that overflows its banks. Kenneth Wuest says the word suggests something that is conspicuous. When the river that flows through some town overflows its banks, it is conspicuous. Paul is praying that the thing about these Christians that overflows, that is most conspicuous, will be their love.

Let’s pause there for a second. Is that the most conspicuous thing about Cal Road Christians? Is love the first thing people notice about us? God gave the Church no substitute for love. Organizational efficiency can’t replace it. Good preaching won’t compensate for its absence. Superb music is no alternative. Love is what makes a church great. Lack of love is what spoils it.

There are two specific qualities in love with which Paul is especially concerned. He wants love to abound more and more – start overflowing and never stop – in knowledge and discernment. Both those qualities merit close attention.

“Knowledge” is the same word we saw previously in the Colossians’ prayer, and carries the idea of recognition. In Colossians, that knowledge had to do with recognizing God’s will. Here, knowledge is a feature of love. We won’t recognize God’s will without love. That seems odd to us because writers like Chaucer and Shakespeare have repeated told us that love is foolish and love is blind. Paul would think that immensely silly. Only love truly sees.

If Paul is right, it follows that we won’t see people for who they really are if we don’t love them. Without love, husbands won’t understand their wives, wives their husbands, parents their children, or children their parents. Church members won’t understand each other without love. The Senegalese poet Baba Dioum had it backwards when he said, “we love only what we understand.” We only understand – really understand – what we love.

That means if you’re having trouble understanding someone – “Why is he doing this? I don’t understand!” – your first step should be to ask God to love him through you. Pray for him. Speak well of him. Do good to him. That is the path to understanding.

Paul prays that the Philippians’ love will also abound with “discernment.” “Discernment” translates a Greek word that originally referred to sense perception. Paul is praying that the Philippians’ love will be perceptive. Love actually heightens a person’s perception.

When a quarterback is totally in the zone, he sees things the rest of us would miss. Nobody displayed this ability to a greater degree than Peyton Manning. When he was on his game, he could see (without realizing he was seeing) the middle linebacker picking up the slant, the cornerback blitzing from the right side, the safety helping out on the wide receiver and the tight end releasing and having about a five-yard opening. Because he perceived all this, he could choose the best option, throw it to the tight end, and make a first down.

For us, the only way to get in the zone is to love. When we love, we perceive things we would otherwise miss: the delay in answering; the tense facial muscles, the hesitation in speaking. We will sense things we would normally not notice. Love has that ability.   

When does this “discernment” come into play? It comes into play all the time: when we’re raising children; doing our jobs; relating to our parents; teaching a class; talking to our friends about Jesus; even playing the piano or building a house. Paul knows that the knowledge and discernment available through love will help us make better decisions.

The word translated “approve” in verse 10 is an important one in Paul’s vocabulary. 86 percent of the time it is used in the New Testament, Paul is the one using it. It is a “quality control” word. It has the idea of testing something for approval. It’s the word Paul uses in Romans, when he tells the Christians there that they will be able to “test and approve what God’s will is” (Romans 12:2).

We need to be able to do that. Is this opportunity from God? Should I forge ahead or hold back? Should I take this job, volunteer for this ministry? We weigh the pros and cons, but if we lack the discernment of love, we’re bound to misjudge their weight. We’ll think the financial component outweighs the relationship component, but we’ll be weighing our opportunities on a faulty scale. Love balances the scale.

If (verse 10) we can “approve what is excellent” (or “what is best”), we will be able to remain “pure and blameless until the day of Christ …” The word we have here is not the one usually translated “pure.” It is a compound word with two roots: The first meaning sunlight, and the second to judge. “Something evaluated in the light.” Paul not only wants his friends to see clearly (that is, be able to approve what is best), he wants them to be seen without needing to hide (that is, to be pure).

The word translated “blameless” is also not the usual word. The idea here has to do with avoiding stumbling. Paul is praying that his friends’ love will enable them to make choices they (or others) won’t stumble over later. I’ve seen people make choices (take a job, take a stand, pursue a relationship) that eventually caused them or their family to stumble and fall out of a healthy relationship with God. Paul doesn’t want that for his friends.

A therapist who specializes in working with millennials says there is a theme that runs through the various encounters she has with her clients. Whether they come because they struggle with anxiety or feel like failures, the theme that resurfaces again and again is: “I can’t decide what to do. What if I make the wrong choice?”

What these millennials need is exactly what Paul is talking about: love that overflows with knowledge and perception. It’s what we all need.

The result of this perceptive, discerning love is (verse 11) a life that brings glory and praise to God. Sir Christopher Wren built St. Paul’s Cathedral in London to the glory of God. J.S. Bach composed his music to the glory of God. Handel dedicated his Te Deum to the glory of God. Countless churches have “To the glory of God” etched on their cornerstones. But nothing brings glory to God like a person who loves—unless it is a church full of people who love.

Such people are (v. 11) “filled with the fruit of righteousness.” It is helpful to remember that “righteousness” is a relationship word. You cannot be righteous all by yourself. You can only be righteous in relationship, whether with God, family, friends, or enemies. When those relationships are right, they are fruitful—they are sweet and nourishing, making us and other joyful and strong. And that brings glory to God.

We can only live this kind of life if we are connected to the source of this kind of love. This “Love,” as St. John put it, “comes from God” (1 John 4:7). Paul writes, “God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit” (Romans 5:5) Jesus, the God-man, is the coupler that connects humans to love’s source—to God. That’s why it is necessary to come to God through him. If you are not sure how to do that, please talk with me after the service or get together with a Christian friend whose life you respect and ask them how they got connected to God.

It’s a little like using a hose. Until it’s connected to a spigot, nothing is going to happen. The hose doesn’t produce water; it only conveys it. Water is not coming out of it unless it gets into it; it has to be connected. We connect to the source of love through faith in Jesus. Once we’re connected, the valve needs to be opened. We open it by making the choice to love. That choice is ours and sometimes it is a difficult choice, but no one else can make it for us.

There are people in your life that you need to choose to love. It’s not enough to say you love your spouse. You must choose to love your spouse. Choose to love your friend, your enemy, your teacher, the stranger in the store. Choose it again and again. Your choice is what opens the valve so that God’s love can flow through you.

Love – not only a feeling but a choice; not only a choice, but an attitude; not only an attitude, but a commitment – love is eagle-eyed. Love discerns what is best. Love keeps us from making decisions that will trip us up and hurt those around us. Love brings glory and praise to God.

Dare to love. Choose to love. Embark on a life of love, and things will be different. I don’t say, easier. It will be harder in some ways. But better. Incomparably better.

Go and be imitators of God. Choose to love. Dare to love. Live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Amen.