(You Probably Aren’t Either)

A few months ago, our church held a photo shoot after service for the purpose of updating our website. Most of the photos were candids, though a few were posed. It was at least a month before I saw the pictures and, when I did, I was surprised by what I saw … of myself.

I’ll explain that presently, but first I should say that I do not often see pictures of myself – there are no paparazzi chasing after me. When someone does take a picture of me, it is usually head-on. On the day of the photo shoot, I was only in a couple of pictures and one of them was taken from the side.

I was surprised to see how bent over I am. My shoulders are hunched, my head sticks out from my body in a way that reminded me of a vulture – definitely not a good look for a pastor. People might start calling me Quasimodo behind my curving back.

I should have known. A few years ago, after seeing me do pushups, my wife suggested that a chiropractor might have helpful suggestions regarding my back, which was not straight. The chiropractor had me doing wall angels (I am still doing them—or trying to do them), and it was more painful than any of the other exercises in my routine. Trying to press the small of my back into the wall, along with the back of my neck and skull, made me lightheaded.

When I moved to Elkhart, Indiana to pastor the California Road Missionary Church, I stood in the gym and looked up at the basketball rim. I said to one of the men, “That’s more than ten-feet high.” He countered, “I helped put that up, and we measured it.” I passed it off – clearly, he was mistaken – but I didn’t forget it. Six months later, I carried a tape measure to the gym and measured it for myself. It was exactly ten feet off the floor. I could hardly believe it. I had been so sure.

Now, I think I understand. When I was 6’5”, basketball rims didn’t look so far up there. Now, with my back slowly curving toward the floor, the basket looks further away.

That explains something else too. Whenever I meet a tall man and learn that he is 6’5” or 6’6”, it seems to me that he must be taller than that, since he is taller than me. Like I say, I should have known. But I didn’t. I assumed that I was standing as tall as ever. But I wasn’t.

Something similar happens on both the moral and the spiritual plane. Take the spiritual. We assume that we are as near to God as we have ever been, but there are times when he feels far away, like the basketball rim seems to me. Usually, we pass it off as nothing—a mere misperception.

We also overlook our moral failures – nothing big, of course – and tell ourselves that is not who we really are. And because we don’t see ourselves as others see us – especially as God sees us – we assume that nothing has changed.

We need people to do what my wife, and then our photographer/church friend did for me: show us the truth. They don’t need to chastise us. (At least, let us hope they don’t.) They simply need to help us see.

But before we ask our loving brothers and sisters to show us what they see, we should go to our loving Father and ask him to show us what he sees. He won’t show us everything; that would be more than we could bear. He will only show us what we need to see to take our next steps in company with him.

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