Last week we had various technical problems and the sermon did not properly record. (This week, the winter storm hitting the Midwest caused our county and the counties around us to issue orange alert travel advisories, so we cancelled services. And we could not stream the service and the Advent readings because the server was down.)
Because we couldn’t record the sermon from last week, I am posting the manuscript below. It will be like, but not exactly like, last Sunday’s sermon. In it, we look at how to move closer to people outside the church. The text is from 1 Peter 2 and 3. Hope you find it helpful. (Please use the comment option to discuss things you see in the text that are helpful to you!
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Imagine that you could suddenly and miraculously hear everything that is said about you the moment it is said. If your sister said something about you to her husband at their breakfast table, you would hear it. If the driver in the car behind you said something about you, you’d hear that too.
Because human nature is what it is, I suspect most of what we would hear would be negative. Not necessarily mean or ugly, just negative. People say things about others that make them feel better about themselves. That is a characteristic of the deteriorating self we looked at a few weeks ago.
So, people (family, co-workers, friends, and enemies) may be saying things about us that we would dislike hearing. They might even put us down because we are Christians. Is there anything that would make them ashamed of their negative talk?
This is our last week in the series, Closer. So far, we’ve thought about how to get closer to Christ, closer to our genuine, God-designed selves, and closer to other Christ-followers. Today, we’ll think about how to get closer to people who are not following Christ. That may be difficult because people, even in our families, don’t know what to make of our commitment to Jesus. They may avoid us. Or they may think, “Religion is their thing, not mine.” They may [SL1] even think that we think we’re better than they are. So, how can we get closer to them in a way that helps them change their minds about us—and more importantly, about Christ?
We’ll learn something about that from our text in 1 Peter 2 and 3. I’ll read 3:13-16 in just a moment, but before I do, I want us to remember that these verses have a context. If we ignore that context, we’ll make the mistake of thinking that we can talk people into faith in God, which rarely – maybe never – happens. Talking to people is necessary, but it’s not all that’s necessary. Words don’t come first. In fact, they are the last ingredient added to the recipe.
Sometimes my wife makes pizza. Does she pour the sauce onto the pan first, and then add the dough? Or does she start with the mozzarella? No, there’s an order to making pizza. And it is the same way with this. We don’t start with words. Unless our words rest on a foundation of a authentic Christian living, like the pizza sauce rests on the crust and not the other way around, our words are going to be hard to swallow.
Our text begins with the end of 1 Peter 2 and continues through the first 16 verses of chapter 3. To get started, we’re going to read 3:13-16. “Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. ‘Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.’ But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.”
How do we get to a place point where our non-Christian friends and family – and even enemies – give God a second thought? That’s a problem. They have not thought about God for a long time, and some have never thought seriously about Him. They have assumed that people who go to church are weird or weak or hypocritical. Or they think that “religion” (as they call it) is fine for other people but not for them. So, how do we get them to question their assumptions? How can we help them think?
According to Peter, it will not be our brilliant answers but our good behavior (verse 16) that causes people to rethink their assumptions. How will that happen? Well, first, it is important that they realize that we are the way we are because we belong to Christ, not because we are more spiritual or kinder or better than other people. The word order in Greek is interesting. “Those who speak maliciously against your good-in-Christ behavior…” If we want people to believe in Jesus, they need to see that he is the reason for our behavior. They need to link us (and the way we act) to him.
Are you linked with Jesus in people’s minds? When friends or co-workers mention you to someone else, what do they say? “You know, the English teacher (or whatever fills the blank for you: the mechanic, welder, banker, CNC operator, engineer),” or “You know, the one who plays golf all the time” (or “who bakes those great chocolate chip cookies,” or “who is always talking about her grandchildren”). If that’s what they link you to, you’ve still got work to do. That is not enough to cause them to give God a second thought, but this “good-in-Christ behavior” is.
So, what is that? To find out we need to look at the larger context, where we’ll discover four things that cause people to ask: “Why are you the way you are? Why do you have the hope you have?” Here are four behaviors that will change people’s way of thinking about us and cause them to give God a second look.
The first of these behaviors, which we find near the end of chapter 2, is the refusal to retaliate (1 Peter 2:23). When people insult us, we do what Jesus did: we bless them. This behavior is so foreign to people’s experience, so countercultural, that it will prompt them to give God a second look and ask the question from verse 15.
A second century document written by a man named Athenagoras says of Christians, “They show love to all men—and all men persecute them … [yet] they repay [curses] with blessings, and abuse with courtesy.”[1] That got people’s attention in the second century and, if we’ll practice it, it will get people’s attention today.
A second way to get people to ask about our hope is to make sure our relationships are healthy. And, if you’re married, that starts with your spouse. Great marriages are counter-cultural. They’re the exception, not the rule. When people see one, they notice it.
Peter draws out three things that constitute “good-in-Christ behavior” within marriage. First, wives are submissive to their husbands (1 Peter 3:1). Be careful not to read into this a 21st century American concept of submission, which puts it on a par with slavery. In contemporary thinking, the submissive person is: weak and scared; gets pushed around by everybody; has no backbone. That is not what Peter is talking about. In fact, the idea would offend him. The Bible calls all Christ-followers, both men and women, to submission; it’s not just wives. The submissive person is not weak. He or she is strong enough to stand under other people and hold them up. The submissive person is like a boulder on which someone can take their stand, not like a pebble trapped in their shoe. The kind of submission Peter is talking about should characterize every Christ-follower, but it should be especially evident in the Christian wife.
A wife’s submission does not mean that she has no say. It does not mean she is a dimwit who depends on her husband to do all the thinking. It doesn’t mean she is the slave of her husband’s whims. (Remember, Scripture commands all of us to submit to each other, and it certainly does not mean us to be slaves to each other’s whims.) For a wife, submission means that she supports her husband; she is for him, on his side.
Peter mentions two traits that should characterize a Christian husband. First, he knows his wife – or at least, he is getting to know her: what she thinks and likes and desires. The Greek behind the NIV translation, “be considerate as you live with your wives” is literally, “live together according to knowledge.” The husband who is getting to know Christ is also getting to know his wife. He wants to know her. Secondly, he respects his wife (verse 7). The Greek word implies placing a high value on her. The Christian husband treats his wife as a person of importance and high standing. What she thinks matters to him. He listens to her.
Watch a TV sitcom and see if that is how married couples are portrayed. My guess is that you will find just the opposite: the women treat their husbands like fools and the men don’t know their wives at all, and don’t want to. But that’s not just TV; it’s real life – your neighbors’ and coworkers’ lives. If they see something different in your relationships – if they see respect and friendship and love – they’ll take note. They may even ask (verse 15) for the reason you are the way you are.
The third “good-in-Christ behavior” is found in verse 8. If you want to stimulate interest in God among your non-Christian friends and family, make sure that you have good relationships with your Christian friends and family – the church. “Finally, all of you, be likeminded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.” People want relationships like that, even when they say otherwise; even when they say they don’t need anybody. They say that kind of thing because they’ve been hurt, but it is human nature to want friends. If you invite someone to church and they see that your church friends are also your dear friends and not just Sunday acquaintances, it will make them re-think what they thought they knew about God and the church.
Last week we talked about getting things in the right order. We see that again here. If you want to get closer to people outside the church, make sure that you are getting closer to people inside the church. Your relationships with church people will make a difference in how non-church people think about you and about the church.
Our relationships are the soundtrack to our message, like the music playing behind the dialogue in a movie scene. In the second of the original Star Trek movies, there is a moving scene where Mr. Spock sacrifices his live to save the crew from certain death. A grief-stricken Captain Kirk is helpless to save him. They speak their touching goodbyes, and Spock passes from this life.
And all the while the scene is playing, there is music in the background. We’re not paying attention to it, but to the words; yet it is having an impact. It rises to a crescendo, falls, rises again into a painful dissonance, and finally resolves itself into a few bars of the Star Trek theme. Then it dissolves again into a sad horn playing under high strings.
If you removed that music from that scene, it would suck the power right out of it. You’d see dated special effects, nominal acting, and an extra, hiding his face and then clumsily making his way off camera. The music makes up for the defects.
Now, here is what we need to understand: our relationships with fellow-church members provide the soundtrack to the message we share about Christ. If those relationships are rich, our words will have more impact. Take away that soundtrack, and people will see all our defects – they’re not hard to find – but they won’t notice Christ.
Now the fourth of the “good-in-Christ behaviors.” This one is so powerful it will make people reconsider everything they thought they knew about Christianity. It is found in verse 14. “Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.” A literal translation runs like this: “Do not fear their fear nor allow yourself to get stirred up.” The fundamental human emotion since the Fall of Adam has been fear. Remember Adam’s first words after the rebellion? “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid…” (Genesis 3:10). Fear has been humanity’s constant companion ever since.
The “deteriorating self” that we looked at a few weeks ago, is a patchwork of fears. That old self is afraid of dying and afraid of living; afraid of making a mistake and afraid of doing nothing. We Americans are afraid of immigrants, indigence, disease, and shame. Afraid of loud noises and afraid of silence. We panic when we can’t find our phones!
The whole world is afraid, but the Christ-follower is not to fear what they fear. What? Not fear losing my job? No. Not fear being an outsider? No. Not fear running out of money during retirement? Not fear being lonely? Not fear looking old? Not fear conflict? Not fear death? No. “Do not fear what they fear.”
The next word, the one the NIV ’84 translates “frightened” is literally, “stirred up.” Don’t let all these things stir you up or, as we might say, “get you worked up.” The picture is of a kettle that is on the boil. This is inward turmoil, the kind that comes when we forget that God is good and that he is in control. This is the word Jesus used when he said, “Do not let your hearts be troubled” (John 14:1).
We see again how important it is that we remember the order of operations. If we are not moving toward Christ and, therefore, not moving in the direction of our truer, fuller self, we will never obey this instruction. We will fear what everyone else fears, because the deteriorating self attracts fears like a wool suit attracts lint. But as we become our truer, fuller selves, fear loses its grip on us.
When people encounter fearlessness, they notice it. Do you have to be tough to overcome fear, or unemotional, or brimming with self-confidence? No, but you do have to be moving toward Jesus. It is possible to face poverty, rejection, conflict, and old age without being controlled by fear; but that doesn’t happen without Jesus.
When we don’t fear what everyone else fears, some people will have questions. Why are you like that? What is the reason for your hope? That’s when we use words. We tell people what we know about God. We tell them about Jesus, about his death and resurrection. But we do this with gentleness; we’re not insensitive. And we do it with respect. We are not trying to make a sale or push people into something they don’t want. We respect the fact that they have their own beliefs and feelings. We know that their response is up to them, not to us. And we know that God was present and at work in their lives before we arrived and will be there after we’ve gone. It’s not all up to us.
If we treat people this way, they might not respond in faith but they might change the way they think about us and about the Lord. They might be ashamed (Peter’s word) to speak against us because they’ve seen our good-in-Christ behavior for themselves.
So, let’s wrap this up. If we’re going to move closer to non-Christians in a way that will give Christ a fair hearing, Peter outlines four things you can do. First, we absolutely refuse to retaliate against people who mistreat us and speak against us. When we’re mistreated, we do what Jesus did: we entrust ourselves to him who judges justly (1 Peter 2:23).
Secondly, we improve our relationships and, if we’re married, especially our relationship with our spouse. Don’t have a marriage like your co-workers’ marriages or your friends’ marriages. Have a better one. Take one step today to make it better. If you don’t know what that step could be, ask your spouse. But even before you do that, ask your Lord.
Next, pursue better relationships with other church members. If there is discord between you and someone else, talk to the Lord and then try to fix it. Think about how you to be a blessing to other people in the fellowship (that’s verse 9). Make it your goal to bless someone at church each Sunday and to bless someone from church during the week.
Finally, when fear comes, seek the Lord’s face and then face your fears. Choose to trust God, despite what’s going on in your life. Ask him to take the very things you’re afraid of and turn them into areas where the reality of his life and strength shines through. God wants to use your fears to build a platform from which he can demonstrate his power. Don’t just distract yourself from your fears: face them, give them (and yourself) to God, and overcome them with his help!
If you do these things, you will get the opportunity to speak to others about your hope. St. Francis is reputed to have said, “Preach the gospel at all times. If necessary, use words.” It will be necessary, if you do these things. But speak with gentleness and respect. Remember, Jesus is not a product you’re selling, but a leader you’re following. If you get the chance, tell your story: How you’re moving closer to Christ, to your true self, to Christian friends, and to others. When that really is your story, God will use it to help other people.
[1] Quoted in James Bryan Smith, The Good and Beautiful Community (IVP, 2010), pp. 28-29
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The Way Home 
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